


Boy, Dumbass Me

by Madame (McKay)



Series: The Monkees Soap Opera [17]
Category: The Monkees (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-15
Updated: 2017-05-15
Packaged: 2018-11-01 06:01:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10915791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/McKay/pseuds/Madame
Summary: Isabel chooses an unusual way to bring the group back together again.





	Boy, Dumbass Me

**Author's Note:**

> Written in 1999

**To** : "Mike Nesmith" [gomez@headquarters.com]

**From** : "Rob Nesmith" [nezjr@headquarters.com]

**Subject** : this weekend

Hi, Dad--

I wasn't sure if Mom had taken her laptop with her this time, so I thought I'd check with you first.

Is she getting back in time for you guys to make the gig Sat night? Let me know; I'll reserve you a table.

Rob

~*~*~ 

**To** : "Rob Nesmith" [nezjr@headquarters.com]

**From** : "Mike Nesmith" [gomez@headquarters.com]

**Subject** : re: this weekend

>I wasn't sure if Mom had taken her laptop with her this time, so I thought I'd check with you first.

When does she NOT have it? I think the woman's gotten implants so she can jack in like a cyborg.

I'm about to email her, so I'll go ahead and ask for you; I'm not sure myself. Her original flight was supposed to get in late afternoon. She said she was going to reschedule, but she hasn't gotten back to me on that yet. I'll let you know later.

Dad

~*~*~ 

**To** : "Isabel Nesmith" [morticia@headquarters.com]

**From** : "Mike Nesmith" [gomez@headquarters.com]

**Subject** : Me again

Rob wants to know if you're going to be home in time for the TNE gig Saturday night. Did you get the flight changed like you'd planned?

How'd the meeting with Clark go? Did you settle anything on the script rights yet, or is he still being an asshole about it?

Mike

~*~*~ 

**To** : "Mike Nesmith" [gomez@headquarters.com]

**From** : "Isabel Nesmith" [morticia@headquarters.com] 

**Subject** : re: Me again

> Rob wants to know if you're going to be home in time for the TNE gig Saturday night. Did you get the

> flight changed like you'd planned?

Yes and yes.

I'm on an earlier flight that'll get in at a little after 1:00, so don't forget to have someone pick me up, okay? I figure that'll give me time for an afternoon nap so I can rest up for the big night out. 

>How'd the meeting with Clark go? Did you settle anything on the script rights yet, or is he still being an

>asshole about it?

That jerk is trying to tell me there's no way in hell I can have any creative control over scripts based on my books and if I CAN'T, then forget it. I've seen too many good books butchered when some hack screen writer got hold of them.

Isa

~*~*~ 

**To** : "Isabel Nesmith" [morticia@headquarters.com]

**From** : "Mike Nesmith" [gomez@headquarters.com]

**Subject** : Afternoon plans

> That jerk is trying to tell me there's no way in hell I can have any creative control over scripts based on

> my books and if I CAN'T, then forget it.

I don't blame you. If you ask me, maybe it's time to look for another agent, one who's more experienced in dealing with the film industry as well as the publishing industry. Clark's done fine so far, but your career is moving to another level now, and it might be beyond his scope to handle.

> I figure that'll give me time for an afternoon nap so I can rest up for the big night out.

I wouldn't count on it.

And don't worry about someone picking you up--I'm taking the afternoon off, so I'll be there myself.

Mike

~*~*~ 

**To** : "Mike Nesmith" [gomez@headquarters.com]

**From** : "Isabel Nesmith" [morticia@headquarters.com] 

**Subject** : re: Afternoon plans

Oh, REALLY?

To what do I owe this special treatment?

Isa

~*~*~ 

**To** : "Isabel Nesmith" [moriticia@headquarters.com]

**From** : "Mike Nesmith" [gomez@headquarters.com]

**Subject** : re: Afternoon plans

> To what do I owe this special treatment?

It's been a really long week.

Mike

~*~*~ 

**To** : "Mike Nesmith" [gomez@headquarters.com]

**From** : "Rob Nesmith" [nezjr@headquarters.com]

**Subject** : re: this weekend

> When does she NOT have it?

Pot, kettle, black, Dad.

Rob

~*~*~ 

**To** : "Rob Nesmith" [nezjr@headquarters.com]

**From** : "Mike Nesmith" [gomez@headquarters.com]

**Subject:** here's your answer, brat

> Pot, kettle, black, Dad.

Shut up, kid. You're just jealous b/c I can work better with Photoshop than you can.

Yes, we'll make it. Your mom says she'll be back in plenty of time, so save us that table. Have you asked anyone else about coming? 

Dad

~*~*~ "Peter Tork" [mozart@headquarters.com] 

**From** : "Rob Nesmith" [nezjr@headquarters.com]

**Subject** : TNE gig

Hey, Uncle Peter,

You were right--Dad wants to know if you're going to be there. He didn't ask outright (of course), but that's what he meant. So are you? I know it'll be the first time you've seen each other, but you two patched things up, right? He wouldn't tell me what happened, but he seems fine, so there shouldn't be a problem. Let me know, okay? 

Rob

~*~*~ 

**To** : "Rob Nesmith" [nezjr@headquarters.com]

**From** : "Peter Tork" [mozart@headquarters.com]

**Subject** : re: TNE gig

Of course I'll be there. As far as I know, things are fine between your dad and me. Maybe it's because we HAVEN'T been in contact since then. I don't know. But we left things on a good note as far as I'm concerned.

Uncle Peter

~*~*~ 

**To** : "Peter Tork" [mozart@headquarters.com]

**From** : "Micky Dolenz" [higgs137@headquarters.com]

**Subject** : Saturday night

Hey, Big Peter!

You're coming to the gig, right? George just called; he said they're going to be trying out some new material, and he wants us to listen up.

I know it's going to be a little awkward with you, Mike and Izzy, but it would mean a lot to the kids to have us all there. How do things stand with you anyway? Mike's not talking--nothing new THERE--and I didn't get a chance to grill Izzy before she left.

Micky

~*~*~ 

**To** : "Micky Dolenz" [higg137@headquarters.com]

**From** : "Peter Tork" [mozart@headquarters.com]

**Subject** : re: Saturday night

> How do things stand with you anyway?

Jeez, Dolenz, if you want to know something, why don't you just ask?

> I know it's going to be a little awkward with you

That is a little understatement.

We talked, and I explained that I thought because I've been lonely lately and because Isabel was upset and vulnerable, we both confused loving each other with falling IN love for a while. But it was a mistake. I know that, and so does she.

He said--and if you let it slip you know anything about this, you're in big trouble--he thought that whether she realized it or not, she was also trying to get revenge, the whole "eye for an eye" idea. HE had an affair, so she'd go out and have one too. But he also admitted that he could've dealt with it a lot easier if it had been anyone but me. It was over thirty years ago, but he knows Isabel and I have always been close. I didn't ever think he might be jealous all this time, though.

Peter

~*~*~ 

**To** : "Peter Tork" [mozart@headquarters.com]

**From** : "Micky Dolenz" [higgs137@headquarters.com]

**Subject** : re: Saturday night

>But he also admitted that he could've dealt with it a lot easier if it had been anyone but me. It was over

>thirty years ago, but he knows Isabel and I have always been close. I didn't ever think he might be

>jealous all this time, though.

I don't think he has been. I think it's just like he said: if it had been anyone else--like ME for example ha ha--it wouldn't have bothered him b/c the history's not there. But way back then, you fell for her first, and his feelings for her caused conflict between the two of you. It's just reversed in this situation.

So where do things stand now?

Micky

~*~*~ 

**To** : "Micky Dolenz" [higgs137@headquarters.com]

**From** : "Peter Tork" [mozart@headquarters.com]

**Subject** : re: Saturday night

> It's just reversed in this situation.

That makes sense. It doesn't make things EASIER, but it makes sense.

> So where do things stand now?

He said he understood what happened, and he doesn't blame me or her. To quote, "I don't like that it happened, but it'd be damned hypocritical of me to throw stones at either of you." I'm still a little pissed that he hurt her so badly in the first place, but she's forgiven him, so it's not my place to judge.

It'll be awkward for a while. It's going to be a long time before I don't feel like I have to be very careful about what I do or say with Isabel when he's around.

Peter

~*~*~ 

**To** : "Peter Tork" [mozart@headquarters.com]

**From** : "Micky Dolenz" [higgs137@headquarters.com]

**Subject** : re: Saturday night

> It'll be awkward for a while. It's going to be a long time before I don't feel like I have to be very careful

>about what I do or say with Isabel when he's around.

Yeah, well, the rest of us plus the kids will be around Sat, so it's not like you're going to be thrown in a room alone with each other. It should be fine.

See you then!

Micky

~*~*~ 

**To** : "Micky Dolenz" [higgs137@headquarters.com]

**From** : "Davy Jones" [lm_greenie@headquarters.com]

**Subject** : ???

Hey, Micky--what's going on? Are we ALL getting together Saturday night or what?

Davy

~*~*~ 

**To** : "Davy Jones" [lm_greenie@headquarters.com]

**From** : "Micky Dolenz" [higgs137@headquarters.com]

**Subject** : re: ???

> Are we ALL getting together Saturday night or what?

Yes, we'll ALL be there. I just emailed Peter about it, and he said he and Mike are cool now, so other than a little residual awkwardness, the whole gang's together again.

Micky

~*~*~ 

**To** : "Micky Dolenz" [higgs137@headquarters.com]

**From** : "Davy Jones" [lm_greenie@headquarters.com]

**Subject** : re: ???

> the whole gang's together again.

Well, that's a relief. I was getting worried for a while there! 

I don't know, man--I've felt really out of the loop on this one. Maybe if I'd been in CA the entire time I could've kept up. But how did YOU get in so deep? If I remember right, you knew what was going on before Peter and I did. How did that happen?

Davy

~*~*~ 

**To** : "Davy Jones" [lm_greenie@headquarters.com]

**From** : "Micky Dolenz" [higgs137@headquarters.com]

**Subject** : re: ???

> If I remember right, you knew what was going on before Peter and I did. How did that happen?

Really bad timing.

I was standing outside in the hall when Izzy walked in on Mike and found out about Denise. She asked me not to say anything to you guys, but she didn't say anything about Mike! You remember that concert where Peter said afterward he felt like it was the worst one we'd done on the tour so far, that there was a lot of negative vibes for some reason?

Well, it was because two seconds before you and Peter joined us to walk on-stage, I was in the wings calling Mike a selfish son of a bitch, and he was about ready to punch me out for interfering. I saw footage of that performance later; every time Mike and I looked at each other, it gave new meaning to the phrase "shooting daggers." With us, it was more like "shooting thermonuclear devices!"

I remember he stayed on the opposite side of the stage about as far away from me as he could get, and all I could think when I looked at him was, "you stupid asshole." I mean, I could not BELIEVE he'd actually cheated on Izzy, you know? I always thought they were so solid, that they had the perfect marriage. Guess it's just another example of appearances being deceiving.

Micky

~*~*~ 

**To** : "Micky Dolenz" [higgs137@headquarters.com]

**From** : "Davy Jones" [lm_greenie@headquarters.com]

**Subject** : re: ???

> all I could think when I looked at him was, "you stupid asshole."

It showed, man. I remember thinking you looked brassed off the entire night, but I thought maybe you were just tired--it never struck me you and Mike had fallen out.

> Guess it's just another example of appearances being deceiving.

I'm just glad they worked things out. I think if they'd broken up for good, the last remnants of my idealism and faith in love would had disappeared entirely.

And which one was Denise, anyway? Was she the redhead who worked the lights?

Davy

~*~*~ 

**To** : "Davy Jones" [lm_greenie@headquarters.com]

**From** : "Micky Dolenz" [higgs137@headquarters.com]

**Subject** : re: ???

> Was she the redhead who worked the lights?

No, she helped with the sound system. About 25 years old, tall, blonde...stacked.

Micky

~*~*~ 

**To** : "Micky Dolenz" [higgs137@headquarters.com]

**From** : "Davy Jones" [lm_greenie@headquarters.com]

**Subject** : re: ???

Oh ho! I DO remember her!

>About 25 years old, tall, blonde...stacked.

Not that you noticed, though, right? (nudge, nudge, wink, wink) 

Davy

~*~*~ 

**To** : "Davy Jones" [lm_greenie@headquarters.com]

**From** : "Micky Dolenz" [higgs137@headquarters.com]

**Subject** : I am SHOCKED!

Shocked, I tell you! How dare you imply that I was ogling that fair young flower of virtuous womanhood! I'll have you know I never ONCE noticed she wore tight jeans all the time and tight shirts, usually without the benefit of supporting undergarments.

Micky

~*~*~ 

**To** : "Micky Dolenz" [higgs137@headquarters.com]

**From** : "Davy Jones" [lm_greenie@headquarters.com]

**Subject** : re: I am SHOCKED!

Oh, ha ha ha--very funny, mate. That's gem stuff, that is.

Well...One thing we CAN say in Mike's defense...He's got good taste.

He went back to Isabel.

Davy

~*~*~ 

**To** : "Mike Nesmith" [gomez@headquarters.com]

**From** : "Isabel Nesmith" [morticia@headquarters.com] 

**Subject** : Dig THIS

Oh, I forgot to tell you on the phone this morning--you'll never believe what I heard yesterday! You remember Nats, don't you? The chief editor at St. Regis Publications? Well, she told me while I was dropping off the manuscript that your little love muffin Denise's agent had either the unmitigated gall or the unparalleled stupidity to send her true confessions tale to THEM!

MY publishers!

Can you believe that?

Anyway, Nats sent it back and told the agent flat out that since Isabel NESMITH was a long-term client who had a proven record of producing best-sellers, they'd rather stick with her than risk losing her over an unknown commodity.

I was most pleased and grateful.

...I was also most pleased and grateful that she forwarded a couple of sample passages from the kiss-n-tell just to let me know what to expect in case it does ever hit the shelves.

Isa

~*~*~ 

**To** : "Isabel Nesmith" [morticia@headquarters.com]

**From** : "Mike Nesmith" [gomez@headquarters.com]

**Subject** : re: Dig THIS

I'm sorry to hear she's pursuing this. I suppose I could always have a word with my lawyers and see if there's anything I can do to put a stop to it BEFORE it gets published, but somehow I doubt it. Let's just hope no one is interested enough to buy the manuscript. If I were a little more high-profile, I'd worry, but sometimes it's beneficial to be a "hermit."

But I'm glad St. Regis is being loyal to you--they ought to be after the money you've made for them over the years. I wish Nats hadn't sent you anything--it's over, and we don't need to rehash the details again and again. We've finally gotten our marriage on solid ground; I hope this won't cause any new damage.

And will you STOP calling her my "little love muffin?"

Mike

~*~*~ 

**To** : "Mike Nesmith" [gomez@headquarters.com]

**From** : "Isabel Nesmith" [morticia@headquarters.com] 

**Subject** : re: Dig THIS

> I hope this won't cause any new damage.

No, love--of course not. Don't worry. My wounds are healed, and seeing this...Well, it's more amusing than anything else. And you know what? I think I should share the laughter.

>And will you STOP calling her my "little love muffin?"

Well, there ARE other things I could call her, but I think you'd like them even less.

Isa

~*~*~ 

**To** : "Isabel Nesmith" [morticia@headquarters.com]

**From** : "Mike Nesmith" [gomez@headquarters.com]

**Subject** : re: Dig THIS

> I think I should share the laughter.

Isa, you'd better not be thinking about what I THINK you're thinking about. I know how that evil little mind of yours works, and I'm warning you--don't you DARE send those excerpts to anyone.

Mike

~*~*~ 

**To** : "Mike Nesmith" [gomez@headquarters.com]

**From** : "Isabel Nesmith" [morticia@headquarters.com] 

**Subject** : re: Dig THIS

> don't you DARE send those excerpts to anyone.

Sorry, darling--too late!

Isa

~*~*~ 

**To** : "Mike Nesmith" [gomez@headquarters.com]

**CC** : [mozart@headquarters.com], [higgs137@headquarters.com], [lm_greenie@headquarters.com]

**From** : "Isabel Nesmith" [morticia@headquarters.com] 

**Subject** : Secrets Revealed

Hi, guys!

This juicy little tidbit was passed along to me from my editor, and I thought it was just TOO good to keep to myself, so I'm sharing the joy. Y'know, you live with someone thirty years, and you think you know them, but my my my how they can surprise you...

A couple of select passages from _Writing Wrongs: The Story of A Doomed Love_

(I did NOT make that up!)

By: Denise Wainwright, aka Mike's Little Love Muffin

From Chapter One:

"I knew from the moment I first laid eyes on him that there was a connection between us. It was like the stars had foretold our future and we were meant to meet and to be together. But Fate which can be so kind can also be cruel. The shadow of another stood between us, tearing me forcibly from him despite our passion, despite our love, despite our destiny.

"But let me begin with memories of happier times, when I first looked into those piercing dark eyes and felt my soul surrender. When the all-consuming passion of my life was first born."

(VERY touching. I wept openly.)

From Chapter Seven:

(I'm assuming this is referring to the first time the Grand Passion was consummated.)

"We were alone at last, away from the prying eyes of his friends and mine, just the two of us in his room. The temptation had grown too great. Our feelings, our mutual urges were too strong for either of us to resist any longer, and I gave in willingly, yielding my heart as well as my body. He took me again and again throughout the night, revealing the energy and stamina of a much younger man."

(I WANT to comment. I REALLY do. But I have to live with him, so it's probably best that I remain silent on this point.)

Isabel

~*~*~ 

**To** : "Mike Nesmith" [gomez@headquarters.com]

**CC** : "Isabel Nesmith" [morticia@headquarters.com]

**From** : "Micky Dolenz" [higgs137@headquarters.com]

**Subject** : re: Secrets Revealed

> revealing the energy and stamina of a much younger man."

Woo hoo!

Go, Mike!

Amazing what taking Viagra on a regular basis will do, ain't it?? 

Micky

~*~*~ 

**To** : "Mike Nesmith" [gomez@headquarters.com]

**CC** : "Isabel Nesmith" [morticia@headquarters.com]

**From** : "Davy Jones" [lm_greenie@headquarters.com]

**Subject** : re: Secrets Revealed

Michael, Michael, Michael...You surprise me. All these years I thought I was the stud of the group, but it's YOU, man. I give up. I yield my title (but not my heart or my body) to you.

Davy

~*~*~ 

**To** : "Mike Nesmith" [gomez@headquarters.com]

**CC** : "Isabel Nesmith" [morticia@headquarters.com]

**From** : "Peter Tork" [mozart@headquarters.com]

**Subject** : re: Secrets Revealed

No offense to either of you, but I think I hurt myself laughing. 

BTW, Micky called and said he was going to run off copies and pass them out as an inter-office memo. Just thought you might want to know ahead of time.

Peter

~*~*~ 

**To** : "Isabel Nesmith" [morticia@headquarters.com]

**CC** : [mozart@headquarters.com], [higgs137@headquarters.com], [lm_greenie@headquarters.com]

**From** : "Mike Nesmith" [gomez@headquarters.com]

**Subject** : re: Secrets Revealed

I am not even going to dignify this with a response, but YOU my dear lady wife are in deep shit when you get home.

Mike

~*~*~ 

**To** : "Mike Nesmith" [gomez@headquarters.com]

**From** : "Isabel Nesmith" [morticia@headquarters.com] 

**Subject** : Olive Branch

Oh, come on--you're not really all that mad, are you?

Isa

~*~*~ 

**To** : "Isabel Nesmith" [morticia@headquarters.com]

**From** : "Mike Nesmith" [gomez@headquarters.com]

**Subject** : re: Olive Branch

> you're not really all that mad, are you?

I OUGHT to be. But no. After everything that's happened, you deserve your pound of flesh. A little humiliation for me now is nothing compared to what you've been through. I'm just glad you've reached the point you can laugh about it.

Mike

~*~*~ 

**To** : "Mike Nesmith" [gomez@headquarters.com]

**From** : "Isabel Nesmith" [morticia@headquarters.com] 

**Subject** : re: Olive Branch

> you deserve your pound of flesh.

That's NOT why I did it; I hope you know that. I left the need for revenge behind me some time ago--and I think you know exactly when. 

Actually, my point was to break the ice before Sat night. I thought maybe if we all could share a laugh--even a "virtual" laugh--it would help ease the tension somewhat. And there WILL be tension. You know that as well as I do. But maybe this will help. You notice Peter responded--I was wondering if he would or not all things considered. I think that's a good sign, don't you?

Isa

~*~*~ 

**To** : "Mike Nesmith" [gomez@headquarters.com]

**From** : "Peter Tork" [mozart@headquarters.com]

**Subject** : re: Secrets Revealed

I hope you're not going to come down too hard on Isabel for this. I don't think she meant any harm by it.

Peter

~*~*~ 

**To** : "Peter Tork" [mozart@headquarters.com]

**From** : "Mike Nesmith" [gomez@headquarters.com]

**Subject** : re: Secrets Revealed

No, don't worry. I'm not going to leave any visible scars on her for it.

You're right. Her motives weren't malicious, and I'm not angry. Mortified and humiliated, but not angry.

Rob called last night, and he said that you're joining us Saturday night. Good. That means all four of us will be there--just like old times. I'm looking forward to it.

Mike

~*~*~ 

**To** : "Mike Nesmith" [gomez@headquarters.com]

**From** : "Peter Tork" [mozart@headquarters.com]

**Subject** : Auld Lang Syne

> That means all four of us will be there--just like old times. I'm looking forward to it.

I am too, Mike. A lot.

See you Saturday night.

Peter

~*~*~ 

**To** : "Isabel Nesmith" [morticia@headquarters.com]

**From** : "Mike Nesmith" [gomez@headquarters.com]

**Subject** : re: Olive Branch

> I think that's a good sign, don't you?

In your own weird little way, you did good. I suppose I ought to thank you, but I'm still having a difficult time resisting the urge to turn you over my knee as soon as I see you.

Mike

~*~*~ 

**To** : "Mike Nesmith" [gomez@headquarters.com]

**From** : "Isabel Nesmith" [morticia@headquarters.com] 

**Subject** : Insatiable Curiosity

Okay, I probably shouldn't ask this, but frankly, I'm DYING to know...

DID you?

Isa

~*~*~ 

**To** : "Isabel Nesmith" [morticia@headquarters.com]

**From** : "Mike Nesmith" [gomez@headquarters.com]

**Subject** : re: Insatiable Curiosity

>DID you?

Did I WHAT? (he asked, dreading the reply b/c he thinks he knows where this is going)

Mike

~*~*~ 

**To** : "Mike Nesmith" [gomez@headquarters.com]

**From** : "Isabel Nesmith" [morticia@headquarters.com] 

**Subject** : re: Insatiable Curiosity

Did you in fact "take her again and again" with all the energy and stamina of a much younger man?

Isa

~*~*~ 

**To** : "Isabel Nesmith" [morticia@headquarters.com]

**From** : "Mike Nesmith" [gomez@headquarters.com]

**Subject** : re: Insatiable Curiosity

I KNEW that's what you were going to ask.

And why are you even bothering? You should already know the answer to that based on recent experience, little love.

Mike

~*~*~ 

**To** : "Mike Nesmith" [gomez@headquarters.com]

**From** : "Isabel Nesmith" [morticia@headquarters.com] 

**Subject** : Flashback

> You should already know the answer to that based on recent experience, little love.

...point taken.

Sorry. I suppose it's just me being a little insecure again. I thought maybe she revitalized you in ways I couldn't.

Isa

~*~*~ 

**To** : "Isabel Nesmith" [morticia@headquarters.com]

**From** : "Mike Nesmith" [gomez@headquarters.com]

**Subject** : re: Flashback

>...point taken.

Glad you remember--my ego's sustained enough damage for one day. 

> I thought maybe she revitalized you in ways I couldn't.

Get that thought out of your head right NOW. We've been over this, and you know the allure she held for me was temporary at best. It was a mistake--a big one--one that I will regret for the rest of my life. It wasn't about sex so much as it was about me thinking I needed a change, that our marriage wasn't satisfying enough in a lot of ways. I convinced myself that I didn't want you anymore, that I didn't love you anymore, that I didn't need you anymore, that I could live happily without you.

Boy, dumbass me.

Mike


End file.
